How Angry is too Angry?

How angry is too angry? I am just wondering because recently I decided that I would stop feeling depressed when the world gets me down, instead I would just get angry and take it back out on whatever made me feel upset anyway. I rarely get angry because I hate the feeling of it but I realised some level of anger is good, it promotes some forward momentum in life. So its not really wrong to be angry I guess, but there is a limit. I do not want to be one of those people who fume so much that they can’t stop to listen or that feel their oppinions are better and just shout down people’s necks until they are forced to aggree. But if I need anger what is stopping me from becoming like those people? I don’t know anymore.So to any future reader of this post, whose name has a 100% likelihood of being Cal, what do you think? Where and how do you draw the line how much is too much?

Anotherwannabe (asking too many questions)

Beef at Gay Pride

Okay I thought I did publish my last another post, arggh! using a shitty computer sucks. Anyways this weekend was really amazing I went to Joburg’s gay pride, so good. afterwards we went to an afterparty at Babylon which kinda made me lose hope in the future of gay men in SA. Why do gay men have to be so shallow and stupid? Was it some joke God made on us, like “Ha ha, you are already hated by society so I will just take away your brains and make you a bunch of horny fucks, I’m so funny.” Thanks for all that God.

Okay I know I shouldn’t be speaking like that 60% of the world is gonna hate me, first I mock the gays then I mock God what type of person am I? Well for one I am seriously angry at everything the world throws my way. Most of the people I know have been calling pride: “the gay parade” like what the fuck really so all you think that pride is about is a bunch of crazy fags dancing around saying look how special we are, we know how to party. I was so pissed off at my mom after she said that. Pride is supoosed to be a time to celebrate humanity and the rights of people to self-expreesion and the experience of love, but unfortunately it’s become no more than a gay parade. I met someone on Saturday who told me how this year’s pride was som much better than last year because the previous year people thought it was a free for all and there were more straight people there. What a dick! Why do I always end up meeting folks like that, so closed-minded and empty. I really don’t know hey.

So after a weekend of what was supposed to be simply an amazing experience, I feel kinda empty. It’s not only straight people who need to change but the queers too, I am totally disapointed. But that’s how shit works I guess.

AnotherWannabe (left with plenty of beef.)

Fight the Good Fight

So this is my first blogpost ever and I have to make it worth something right. I have been dwelling on this for sometime now and couldn’t think of a vision for my blog: what would it be, what could someone who dreams of becoming a professional writer speak about; what good could I have to say that is better than anyone else around? All these questions flying through my mind all these idiotic esteem issues that plague me just sprung up. Where to go, what to do, what to do? I still don’t know but at least I have something to talk about and if it bores you; FUCK YOU! 😛

So anyway as per usual for someone who takes university seriously my friends and I had a debate. A long (tedious – if you were on the outside)  debate about the nature of the world. I won’t go into all the specifics but I will talk about the main ideas that came out from it. One of my friends said that we as people can do nothing to change the world, that people should stop being idealistic and believing that magically they can change oppressive systems overnight. Instead what we should do is just give in, consent to the world order, become someone learned and change the world by affecting policy. A slow tedious process that any radical minded person like myself finds ridiculous. I mean for one instead of taking action against the system I hate I need to be a part of it, really what the fuck? (Am I swearing too much?… Anyway to continue) I mean the idea that we should all sit back powerlessly as people bow down to those in the world that hold us back, then to try and be one of those dicks ourselves and then only to change stuff after all that effort and loss of hope and becoming a mindless zombie, it is just ridiculous. I mean I can’t even compose proper sentences just thinking about it, unless my above sentence is grammatically correct and makes sense to anyone other than myself then… Yay!!! I’m wrong. 

So anyways let me get on to the the title of my post and why I’m actually writing this. Can we change the whole world? I believe we can. We can do what we want if we really set our minds to it. If every one of us decides that we are tired of seeing people suffer in this world we can do something. Yet we fight alone. We sit at home feel bad about ourselves, because we are told we are too idealistic. We have our dreams that we are forced to hold back because someone said “it’s stupid”. We sit, we cry, we build up rage, and still we feel like there is nothing we can do. Why don’t we rage against the dying of the light? We just allow ourselves to be sucked into this empty void, we feel alienated for believing in change, yet so many of us still believe. We need to stop acting like spoiled, sulking children and we need to turn this world around.

Why do we allow ourselves to feel like idiots when we say we want to see a better world? So for anyone out there who reads this, anyone at all: who is sick and tired of seeing the sick suffer in silence, their neighbours die from starvation, a woman being beaten or raped and feeling as though there is nothing she can do, a man killed for wearing a dress, someone who has a job yet still can’t afford to survive anyone who has ever been harmed by the fools in the world who don’t treasure the human spirit. I want you to stand up and say: NO, THIS IS BULLSHIT (or if you prefer say something less provocative). We can take a stance and the easiest place to start is just to tell someone that the shit they do is wrong. Naturally people will laugh, they will tell you you are a fool, but if you’re anything like me the voices in your head say it anyway (it’s always less hurtful when someone else says it, trust me). That is what this blogpost is about, it’s about fighting, about believing, about just trusting that everyone out in the world wants to see a place where every human actor feels as though they have a right to live, and that they are not unjustly discriminated against for believing that.

I want to be the small change that creates big action, I’m sure if you are reading this you feel the same way. I want to be someone who actively promotes change in the world, I want to be a person who believes in humanity and the inherent good inside that forces people to stop, to think and say: “we can’t go on living this way”. That is exactly what I am trying to do with this blog. This blog will be about my own personal growth as I try to make my life as a writer and an idealist. If you can’t stand that tell all your douche-bag friends about me maybe one of them will be interested. 

(What a nice way to end a blog insult your readers, but what can I do?…

I’m) AnotherWannabe